I read somewhere that if you have great friends throughout your life, you would live longer. I don’t know how effective this is, but I would love to buy into this school of thoughtIn order to have great friends, you have to be a great friend too.
Let me pause to say happy new month dears, we are halfway into the year and I’m hoping that you haven’t given up yet. We still have a whole lot to achieve before the year runs out. In this light, I would be running a series on friendships this month alongside other contents. So, tag along.
While I make an awesome progress on being a great friend and building a great friendship circle; a circle without end, let me share with you tips that are bound to make this journey of friendship easy.
• Build you: Trust me when I say you won’t be effective as a good friend if you don’t know who you are as a person. Know yourself, if not completely, but at least know your core values, your principles, your beliefs. In knowing these, you would be able to know the kind of friends to look out for and being a great friend won’t be detrimental to your standards
• Exclusivity: Having a group of friends that all know each other is a thing now. But, you need to draw the line between group friendships and your individual relationship with your friends. Learn to be exclusive with each of your friends. Whatever is confided in you should remain with you and should not become a matter for round table discussion with the association of friends. Note specific details about your friends, relate with your friends on different levels. Let them feel special.
• Be real and honest: The same way you don’t want your friends to pretend to be who they are not around you, stay real too. Be that friend they can count on to be honest,no matter what’s at stake. Do not flatter! What is bad is bad, it has no other name. Learn to state the truth in a calm and loving way also. Let that friend know that ‘it is this habit that I detest, not you’. Wisdom is key in handling friendships.
• Quality time: Make time for your friends. Learn to call, visit, chat, and listen to them. If you’re like me that’d rather be alone, then this is indeed a conscious sacrifice you must make. In making out time for them, learn to be a good listener too. Its wrong to always be the one talking, always the one one with problems, always the one that needs help. Shut up and listen too! The world doesn’t revolve around you dear! Pay attention to little details about the other person too. It would do you a world of good.
• Be open: Keep their secrets, share some of your secrets/stories with them too. I for one, would be skeptical if I keep confiding in you and you’ve never for once confided in me. That’s not friendship, that’s mentorship. Even mentors sometimes let their mentees in on their fears. You need to earn their trust, work for it. You don’t just expect to be trusted just because you call yourself friend.
• Encourage your friends: This can’t be overemphasized! Celebrate your friends and their every win, rate them, hype them, give constructive criticisms when need be. Ensure that you ain’t backstabbing them while hailing them in front. Be happy for them!
• Be loyal: Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks with you even more than a brother. Get to that point where not even quarrels can destroy or break the bond you share with that friend. Be ready to resolve any fight, well, except its detrimental to your wellbeing or health. In staying loyal, its important that you understand your friend too.
• Be helpful: You shouldn’t always be on the receiving end, learn to give as well!…Help them, do things for them. Take good pictures of them. LOL. I just shook my own table.
• Enjoy the silence: Get comfortable with the silence, even when you aren’t communicating as much as often, they should know that, this person has my back. That you didn’t talk in a day doesn’t mean the friendship is over. Learn to give your friends space when needed, that you were told to be there for them doesn’t mean you should choke them with your presence. They have other friends too. Yes, you don’t own the copyright to the friendship, they are allowed to make other friends too sir/ma.
I trust that we learned a thing or two and that we would make a conscious effort towards working on our friendships this month. Little things matter a lot. Share your thoughts and tips in the comment section far below, I really would love to hear from you. Like, subscribe, follow and ensure your friends read this as well.
Have an amazing month #Cheers