Hi guys, welcome back to my blog.
As you can tell from the title, we are still on friend-ship, gradually sailing to the port. I shared a school of thought in my last post that your friends play a role in your life span. If this is true, then you must agree with me that its necessary to be wise in one’s choice of friends. Friendships are like elevators; they would either take you up or take you down.
Today, I would be sharing wise tips to consider in your choice of friends. Before I proceed, let me state that you’re choosing friends for the sake of friendship; your being friends with the other person and also the other person being friends with you, is a give and take situation, give what you expect to get. In other words, what I’m saying is, as you’re selecting your type of friends, make sure that you’re the ‘type’ too. Nobody wants to be a good friend to a bad person.
¶ Also, I need you to know that not all friendships would last forever, that’s why we sometimes find ourselves hanging on to connections that expired ages ago. Some connections are just for specific phases or reasons, get things done and move on. Moving on doesn’t mean you ended on a sour note, but sometimes because the circle doesn’t involve him/her anymore.
Going further with our wise tips to picking good friends…
• Run a Self Test: By this, I mean take a long while, ruminate and know for yourself who you are, what exactly you want to be identified with, your purpose, values, aspirations, dreams and goals. Some of these things might change as you grow, but the core of who you are should be specific, also know for yourself, your deal-breakers. Let anyone say you’re too principled, but you must note the things that are a no-no for you. This would guide you in the things that you shouldn’t take from yourself or from anyone .
• Choose friends with similar values: Friendship isn’t made in a day or in a month, so the same way you take a look at your inner self, look at the other person, without them having to tell you who they are, look at the values they hold dear, do they correspond with or contradict yours?. You mustn’t make friends that are exactly like you in all qualities, characteristics and traits..that might be boring. But I’m saying, for specific values and beliefs, you need friends that are like-minded as you, this would save you the stress of compromising your stands and getting negatively influenced. It would also help you stay accountable to one another.
• Choose friends that balance you: We all have our strong and weak points, have friends that would motivate and encourage you to stretch and achieve more in the strong areas while helping you out in your not-so-good areas, you must be willing to do same for them too.
• You must be discerning: Discernment is necessary in making friends, don’t sweep everything under the carpet. Your trust has to be earned. Discern what the other person’s role in your life is before they get close. Start by defining the relationship. Know the difference between friend and neighbour, acquaintance, colleague, boss, employee, vendor, group member. Not everyone is your friend, so the lines have to be drawn for each relationship. Its possible for someone from the different categories to metamorphose into being a friend..yes, that’s why you should discern. You must be able to sense the tendencies in them. Check their motives, habits and lifestyle, you can notice someone that would be a disloyal friend in future from the little things they do.
• Choose friends that will celebrate you: Choose friends that respect what you carry, friends that are joyful people, that would celebrate you and your every success not the type that would be tolerating you. Friends that would truly hype and celebrate you are rare, if you find them, keep them.
• Choose friends that are goal-getters and purposeful: If you’re the type that is purposeful, that keeps trying to be a better version of yourself, you don’t want to be friends with anyone that takes life casually, that believes that the universe is fair to some and unfair to others, that accepts life as it happens and sees you as too serious..No no no.
• Friends that want to explore and be better: You can’t tighten the world to your chest, so you need friends that learn, grow, advance and read alongside have fun, explore and take interest in common things as you, they could be sports, food, travels, fashion, music, arts or more..live through moments!
• Choose high friends: Its very comfortable to be friends with someone that’s your level in “every” area or have a group of friends where you’re the smartest, richest, and best, but that won’t do much good. You must have friends that know better than you in some areas, that challenge you, that can call you to reasoning, whose opinions matter to you. It would do you much good.
• Choose friends that believe in you: In as much as you’re confident of yourself, you should surround yourself with friends that believe in you, friends that see friendship with you as a blessing, that see your confiding in them as a special privilege. Anyone that would be looking down on you isn’t necessary in your life, no matter who he/she is, use the scissors.
Note that I’m not a master of friendships, I’m getting better too. As much as I’m sharing my tips, let the spirit of counsel rule, as you make your choices.
Evaluate your relationships, are they reasonable? If yes, good. If no, its time to get serious about making and keeping successful and quality relationships.
I hope, I didn’t bore you. If you read through, please comment far below your best tip or any other tip you’d like to share with me.
Follow, subscribe, do well to share with your friends and stay blessed this new week as our ship keeps sailing.
P.S: Your show of love, keeps me in awe, the more reason why I keep writing. The baby is growing well too.. LOL