Hello family members, I’m hoping it is not too late to say happy new month. LOL. I know, I know it’s been a while I fed our baby and that’s bad of me. I’m so sorry, a lot happened over the past week, but I promise to do better.
I got a lot of personal comments about the friendship series and I’m motivated to do more and be better. It is my hope that we all become better versions of ourselves. So delving into what I have planned out for today, I realised that sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing that you are worth the trip.
You’re still wondering where I’m heading to right? I am wondering too. Over the past month, I have been doing a lot of reflections and making a lot of decisions, not necessarily because it’s my birthday soon but because a lot of things have been going on and its funny how one decision can affect several other decisions. This has birthed forth the prompting to talk about self esteem. I would try to touch as much as I can, so please stay tuned, keep scrolling and enjoy the read.
So we can flow well, here is what Wikipedia explains as self-esteem. Self-esteem is an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, “I am unloved”, “I am worthy”) as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) defined it by saying “The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it.”
Self-esteem is an attractive psychological construct because it predicts certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships, and criminal behavior. Self-esteem can apply to a specific attribute (for example, “I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that”) or globally (for example, “I believe I am a bad person, and I feel bad about myself in general”). Self esteem can be ranged from low to high. It can either yield to lack of confidence in yourself or presence of self confidence. Interchangeably, words that are similar to or used in place of self-esteem include self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, and self-integrity. Trust me, how you see yourself affects every single thing about you down to your performance and relationships with people.
It would surprise you to know that even in this age and season, low self esteem is a problem as much as it was in times past.
The causes of low self-esteem vary with different people. I will touch on some of them, though there could be more..
• Unsupportive parents: People’s actions and words subtly play a role in how someone turns out, especially when its the parents. A lot of parents for lack of better ways to handle things cause more harm in a child’s life than good, this child grows up having the notion that he is up to no good and can never do anything well or worth celebrating. Children like this would do anything to feel loved or appreciated and would literally die just to be accepted.
• Social media: The social media to be honest has both its good and bad sides. People find it difficult to sieve through what they find on social media. So, you begin to rate yourself based on what others are posting or achieving and conclude that you aren’t up to their standards. You forget to note that no one should define what the perfect lifestyle should be. No one should serve as your yardstick or compete with you. Set your standards and ratings, compete with your present self and hit your targets.
• Environment: The environment where one grew up in, (could be one’s school, neighborhood, church and extended family) can be the reason why one suffers low self esteem. Some people grow up being second options or alternatives, for instance, in class, there are always students that are seen as the best and when such students are in groups for assignments or practicals, you see that naturally, some teachers hand over the entirety of the workload to the student that is seen as good, only when another option comes in is the seemingly “average child” needed. This scenario plays out a lot of times, in the choir, church, home in fact. Sometimes, its an unconscious act that leaves an impression on a person and grows with the individual thinking he doesn’t matter, can’t ever be good at anything or would always be the last choice.
• Abuse: When I say abuse, I mean all forms of abuse play various roles in one’s mental health and self esteem in the long run. It could be verbal abuse, physical abuse or sexual abuse. For some persons, words said mean a lot to them, most especially who said the words. It would be a constant pain when negative words keep on being said, it piles up in their minds and begin to puncture the confidence or self worth they ever had. Physical abuse and sexual abuse can’t be overlooked, as it affects the way a person thinks or sees himself or herself. They begin to feel like they aren’t worth anyone’s love, that they are dumpsites for everything bad, that they do not deserve to live or that they deserve the evil that has been done to them.
All these have effects on a person’s attitude towards life, the performance and the relationships with fellow humans. In my next post I would be shedding light on the effects as well as suggest ways that can help one fight issues of low self-esteem head-on.
I trust that you learned a thing or two, and also have things to add, please do continue this talk in the comment section far below.
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Remain in God and stay blessed.