Hello family, i feel so excited picking up from where I left off the last time. I trust that you are doing well?
In the last post, I wrote about self esteem and the seeming causes of low self esteem. Today’s post would be about the effects of low self esteem on a person and the possible solutions to the problem.
• Lack of personal opinions: People with low self esteem struggle with having a say or opinion in matters, they find it so difficult to say no and stand by it. Probably, because they’ve grown up getting used to not being acknowledged or heard. They’d rather agree to what the other person is saying. Whether, its an argument, a matter that needs their stand or a belief.
•Settling for little: A person that struggles with low self esteem finds it hard to outrightly demand for better, he or she would rather settle for less, to him/her, half bread is better than none.
•Alter-attitude: Sometimes, people that struggle with low self esteem act so uptight, rude or arrogant. In a seeming way to cover up for the way they feel about themselves, they would rather look at others as being inferior when in the actual sense they are the ones feeling inferior.
• Seeking other people’s approval: Because they’ve spent their whole lives losing their say or confidence, people with low self esteem always await other people’s approval. They always need their parents’ agreement on their choices, they always need their friends to agree with them every single time and if they don’t get this approval, they would rather not go ahead as planned. People with low self-esteem almost always second guess themselves.
• Jealousy/ Insecurity: People with low self esteem get easily jealous of someone they think is doing better in areas they always wanted. Its not a conscious habit but they easily feel insecure when they appear as the second best every single time.
There are no perfect solutions to this, but there are ways in which low self esteem can be handled and eliminated for good. It all depends on you.
• Renew your mind: This is foremost because trust me it all starts from within you. You need to clear your mind off all forms of low self ratings. Whatever it is that must have brought you to the point where you think so lowly of yourself and feel like you don’t matter must be addressed. It wasn’t your fault however it happened, but its your responsibility to pick up and stay whole. See yourself as being of importance and address yourself as such.
• Power of positive affirmations: In addressing the issue at hand, you need to understand the power of words and begin to use them.Continually, declare words of affirmation to yourself. In becoming that effective, strongwilled and esteemed individual, you need to speak words to yourself, for a lack of better word, permit me to say, begin to “hype or rate” yourself. Now I’m not saying blow it out of proportion or exaggerate, but you need to see yourself as the good that you are, address yourself as such and walk in that light.
• Let it go: The hurts, pains, faults, accusations, tears and fears has to be let go! You’ve wallowed in it for far too long, or maybe you had it locked up somewhere, now unlock it, address the issues, cry all you want, face the reality and thereon determine not to stay punished for what wasn’t your fault. Whatever it was that happened, whether they were your mistakes or not, you must know that you aren’t your mistakes, they are what you did, not who you are. For too long, you’ve been judging and belittling yourself and it hasn’t made you better, why not try the opposite, why not approve yourself now?
• Treat others better: In getting better and being better, you need to treat others better too. Everyone is fighting one battle or the other, as such its wrong to move around being rude to people. Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air and thinking you are better than everyone else, it is walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.
• Surround yourself with positive people: It is very important that you surround yourself with positive people and not people who would help bring you down the more.
• Never compare yourself: The only person you should strive to be better than is your current self. Yes, have aspirations, have models, have people you look up to, but never ever feel less of yourself.
It is of utmost importance that you see yourself the way your creator and heavenly father sees you. Whatever it is that shattered that image has to be corrected, get another mirror, lens or whatever it is you would need in viewing yourself. In seeing yourself the right way, people around you would do same.
I can only hope that this has blessed you as much as it has these past years of me working on myself. Do drop your comments, and as always remain in God and stay blessed.